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This is my farewell to Texas; I’m washing my hands of this state and writing my final testament here.

Many of the people I’ve met here in Texas have questioned my disdain for this state, so I find it only appropriate to finally open the windows and air-out all the fermented dissatisfaction. I’ll give you this; the economy is great in the way that there are an abundance of jobs if you don’t mind minimum wage and absolutely no checks-and-balances systems for employers.

I was attacked by a loose dog in my neighborhood last year, and do you know what the owner had to say?

You’re lucky I’m not some little kid, or the parent of a child that the dog had bitten, otherwise you’d be enjoying the long-arm of any frothing attorney looking for a cake-case of negligence.

Just invest in Super Soakers and head on down to the highways.

You could basically watch the state implode given the right time-frame.

Spray the highways down, watch a few fucktards run into each other, don’t send out response vehicles, and watch the rest of them run into each other.

Yep, everything is bigger in Texas, including the accidents.