Sure, this week I think it is a bit silly (but adorable) that Ryosuke makes me wipe my feet off with wet wipes before climbing into bed (even if I have been wearing slippers all day). He likes the fact I am ambitious and want to have a solid career, but what about in five years, when his family is pressuring me to quit my job to have (and take care of) kids? What if he thinks you should quit your job after marriage to become a housewife?
What if he is racist against other Asian countries? I talked about some of the cultural disagreements I’ve had in this post about the differences between couples fighting in America and in Japan. I speak Japanese fairly-fluently (can understand everything, but have trouble formulating all of my thoughts in a timely and concise manner).
It represents a small minority of interracial couples, most American, Australian, and European women dating Korean, Japanese, and Chinese men.
However, hundreds of other countries and nationalities are also represented.
I wondered where it went wrong – but the answer was pretty obvious to everyone involved.
If you do not respect and appreciate your partners culture (to the extent you are willing to forsake elements of your own culture for their benefit), intercultural and interracial relationships are nearly impossible.
So before sending me threats, swearing at me, and calling me a “white supremacist,” realize that I live in Japan, this was a family tradition, and I really do understand the significance of this photo.
Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world.I’m sure I’m reading into this too much – but the sheer number of times I’ve been told this, from people of all ages, genders, and nationalities has started to hit a nerve. And then I stop listening when they add stuff on the end.” I love his simple outlook on life. Your intentions might pure(ish), but the execution is a bit lacking. There is absolutely no reason to add the qualifier “you know, for an Asian guy.” [Edit: To the surprising number of people who have messaged me furious with my “cultural appropriation” because of this photo – it was an engagement photo my Japanese husband and I took, in a rural prefecture of Japan, at the urging of his very traditional parents who speak absolutely no English.I asked my husband if this bothers him (since about half the time, Ryosuke is standing right next to me when he/I get that backhanded compliment). It’s a refreshing comparison to my own overly-analytic, anxious outlook on life. I think one of the most uncomfortable instances I’ve had in the last month was when one of my Japanese (female) friends commented “For a Japanese man, Ryosuke is attractive. They display this photo inside their house, along with similar engagement photos of my husband’s older (married) brother and sister (and their respective, Japanese spouses).Or, more specifically, why the need to add a qualifier? I don’t understand why being Asian counts as a strike against him. On anyone else (and by anyone else, I mean on another white person like me, because I guess that’s what the standard is…?), those characteristics would inspire a league of secret admirers.